So, you got the promotion. Congratulations! Now for the tricky part: leading the same people who were your peers just last week.
If you’re feeling a little awkward, you’re not alone. I have had the opportunity to coach a number of individuals making this transition, and I struggled with it personally earlier in my career. The transition from team player to team leader is one of the most common challenges in any career. The core of this challenge isn’t just about new responsibilities; it’s about a fundamental shift in how you see your job.
The Expert Trap: Why Your Old Strengths Can Hold You Back
As a top performer, your value was clear: you did great work. Your job was to hit deadlines, produce quality results, and be an expert in your craft. Those are likely the exact skills that earned you this promotion.
The trap? Thinking those same skills are what will make you a great leader.
New managers often define their value by what they can help the team produce. They’ll say things like:
- “My job is to delegate effectively so we stay on schedule.”
- “I’m responsible for making sure our work is high-quality.”
While not wrong, this perspective misses the bigger picture. Your technical skills got you here, but they aren’t enough to carry you forward as a leader. Your job isn’t to be the star player anymore.
Your New Job: Chief Enabler
It’s time for a mindset flip. Stop focusing on your ability to do the work and start focusing on your ability to help your team do their best work.
Think about the best boss you’ve ever had. What did they do for you? They probably:
- Helped you get unstuck when you hit a roadblock.
- Fought for the resources you needed to succeed.
- Championed your growth and helped you develop new skills.
Your technical expertise is still valuable—it helps you understand the challenges your team faces. But your new role requires you to look beyond the work itself and become the leader your team needs. Your success is no longer measured by your individual output; it’s measured by your team’s success.
How to Make the Shift (and Make it Less Awkward)
This mindset shift is the key to navigating the move from peer to manager. Instead of your former teammates seeing you as a taskmaster asking, “What are you doing for me?”, they begin to see you as a resource focused on, “How can I help you win?”
So, how do you start?
It might feel like the last thing you should do, but the most effective strategy is also the simplest: Ask them.
It can feel vulnerable. You might worry that asking “What do you need from me?” sounds like you don’t know what you’re doing. But in reality, it’s the strongest move you can make. It shows humility, builds trust, and opens a genuine dialogue about how you can best support them in your new role.
Talk to each person on your team. Be open. Ask them directly what they need from their leader to thrive.
You’ll likely find that this one simple act does three powerful things:
- It immediately reframes your old peer relationships into a new, positive leader-team dynamic.
- It gives you a clear and personalized roadmap for how to add real value.
- It helps you build your own development plan for the kind of leader you want to become.
Be patient, and stay at it! This conversation also requires your team members to be a little vulnerable too, and it might take a little while for them to feel comfortable engaging in this type of discussion. Over time, however, it can help you and your former peers transform to a highly effective team.